Best Strength

I believe I found this on MSN a few years ago.

DO: Create physical and emotional safety. Each of you should feel free to express yourself without fear of punishment.

DON’T: Punish or berate. Even if you feel attacked, don’t get angry or the issue will never be resolved. Never use below-the-belt comments.

DO: Talk about it. Even the most heated issues can be discussed coolly and calmly. But you might have to practice saying “When you do this, I feel this way” instead of “You did this” or “You make me feel…”

DON’T: Bring up the past. It’s over; let it go. Stay focused on the present, on how you feel now, not what s/he did then.

DO: Help your mate to open up. Be respectful, really listen and acknowledge their position.

DON’T: Make it all about you. Don’t interrupt or try to present counter arguments. And don’t change the subject or bring up another slight.

DO: Foster intimacy through communication. Talking about your feelings and empathizing with your partner’s increases your knowledge of each other — and that brings you closer

DON’T: Use information to build walls. Even if the truth hurts, don’t disconnect the lines of communication or the situation will get worse.

DO: Practice gratitude. Make a list of what you appreciate about your mate — and let them know what you appreciate. Thank them on the spot, whenever possible.

DON’T: Keep a mental checklist of your partner’s flaws or hot button issues. It’s too tempting to use them as ammunition when you feel the pressure.